Sex and a new normal

04.1.2019

I was diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension 2 months after I got married.

When I tried to inquire about the implications of my illness to my sex life I was interrupted and told to be thankful that I was still alive and focus on the important things.

Since the hubby and I were left to figure it out for ourselves we decided to get really creative, use our sense of humor and create a new sexual ‘normal’.

 

Before I’ll share some of the details, I want to explain what a ‘New Normal’ is.

 

In Medical Coaching, we use the term ‘New Normal’ to describe a reality that changed and/or keeps changing as a result of a health/medical condition.

The principle isn’t to simply accept the new reality but to pro-actively define a ‘New Normal’ that is aligned with our life vision and values.

 

This is an act of radical hope and empowerment and in order to do so, we need to explore all aspects of our human experience – including sex and sexuality.

People don’t stop being human when they are diagnosed and sex doesn’t stop being a source of connection, pleasure, or comfort just because a person has an illness or disability.

As Medical Coaches, we explore with our clients the distinction between who they are and what happened to them for the sake of reclaiming their narrative. As our clients boldly choose how to rewrite the story of their life, we name their right to redefine and own their sexuality as a fundamental part of the human right to Self-determination.

 

Back to the hubby and I… since I had a tube coming out of my chest that was connected to a clunky medical pump we decided to tap into our geeky youth and take the science fiction approach. He became a courageous space explorer and I became a sexy space babe. It worked for a long time and when it didn’t anymore we created a new normal…

Perusing your passion or fulfillment when you have been told to be thankful that you are still alive is pretty courageous, but then, so is Medical Coaching!

 

Shiri Ben-Arzi

Master Medical Coach

CEO of MCI – the Medical Coaching Institute