If this feels like a battle, these are the rules – Rules 7 & 8

19.12.2023

Author: Shiri Ben-Arzi, PMC, MCC

This is the 4th blog post in the series of blog posts called – If this feels like a battle, these are the rules –  20 Rules for times of crisis”.

Special thanks and appreciation to Sasha Khazanov and Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott for their inspiration.

 

In this post, I’ll address rules 7 and 8.

(to read the previous posts about rules 1-6, click HERE)

 

Rule #7 –

The preservation of life during the ‘marathon’ of an ongoing crisis starts with self-regulation.

Self-regulation includes:

• Grounding and providing an outlet for the nervous system. Make sure to practice daily grounding techniques (see my video on grounding techniques) and controlled outlets for your nervous system (through talking, crying, hugging, screaming, writing, moving, and anything else that provides an outlet for what is bottled inside)
• Pacing. Evaluate the pace at which you can move daily. Allow yourself to adjust it when needed. There will be days when you feel you can take leaps and others when you only take one baby step at a time. There is no right pace – only your pace at any given moment.
• Prioritizing. Give yourself permission to put aside things that can wait. Not everything that feels urgent really is. Evaluate your physical, mental, and emotional abilities and prioritize your actions and tasks accordingly.
• Focusing on what strengthens you. Whatever strengthens you is important, even if just doing the dishes, folding laundry, or going through paperwork. Often, it’s the mundane, ordinary, and ‘unimportant’ stuff that helps restore some sense of control amid the sea of chaos.

 

Rule #8 –

Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. Emotions that are not acknowledged, expressed, or spoken become stress in the body.

Remember that there are no positive or negative emotions, only human emotions; every emotion has a context. In the context of a crisis – all emotions are normal reactions in an abnormal situation.

Be mindful of guilt; remember it is a normal emotional coping reaction to an experience of helplessness and loss of control. Having said that, if there is no reduction in the levels of guilt over time, seek help.

 

In the next blog post, I will address rules 9 and 10.