If this feels like a battle, these are the rules – Rules 15 & 16

23.12.2023

Author: Shiri Ben-Arzi, PMC, MCC

This is the 8th blog post in the series of blog posts called –

If this feels like a battle, these are the rules –  20 Rules for times of crisis”.

(and it’s a perfect opportunity to thank  Sasha Khazanov and Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott for their inspiration).

 

In this post, I’ll address rules 15 and 16.

(to read the previous post about rules 1-14, click HERE )

 

Rule #15 – 

In times of crisis, our emotions overflow into our existing relationships, aggravating old and challenging dynamics and creating new ones.

Don’t assume the other side knows and understands what you feel and need.

Don’t assume others aren’t affected by your crisis.

Don’t judge other people’s coping mechanisms.

This is the time to practice softness, forgiveness, flexibility, and communication in an intentional way.

 

 

Rule #16 –

During a “war-like” crisis, including a medical crisis and even a traumatic one, we tend to check our physical body for any existing wounds, thinking that if there are no physical wounds, there are no vital injuries.

In reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

It’s important to remember that we also have an emotional body. On that level, our emotional heart tissue is injured every time we go through a crisis.

This unique emotional tissue takes time to heal.

As it is healing, we must avoid self-judgment or rigidness and practice self-compassion and softness.

 

In the next blog post, I will address rules 17 and 18.