If this feels like a battle, these are the rules – Rules 11 & 12

22.12.2023

Author: Shiri Ben-Arzi, PMC, MCC

This is the 5th blog post in the series of blog posts called –

If this feels like a battle, these are the rules –  20 Rules for times of crisis”.

(Special thanks and appreciation to Sasha Khazanov and Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott for their inspiration).

 

In this post, I’ll address rules 11 and 12.

(to read the previous post about rules 1-8, click HERE )

 

Rule #11 –

No one is walking in your shoes but you.

You will meet people who have been through similar things or went through the same thing with you or know someone who has lived next door to someone who has been through the same thing.

They will offer you their opinions, advice, tips, ideas, insights, perspectives, and words of subjective experience and wisdom.

Observe what they offer and ask yourself if it is a good fit and will serve you well at the moment before choosing whether to accept or not.

Whether you have been in this place before or this is the first time you are experiencing something of this nature and scale, remember that you are the only one walking in your shoes, which means that you are the one who knows what can serve you well.

Also, avoid self-proclaimed profits who claim to know how things will turn out AND people who think and speak in two colors: black & white.

 

Rule #12 –

Information is as empowering as it is toxic.

 

Information can alleviate anxiety, calm down your nervous system, and help you regain a state of resourcefulness. It can also throw you into an imbalanced hyper-activation mode, overwhelming your system and creating a depleting loop.

Pay attention to the amount, nature, and quality of the information you consume, whether through news media, social media, or conversations.

Part of the nature of trauma is that it draws us to consume more and more information under the illusion that the more we know, the more control we have, and it draws others to try and give us as much of it as possible, using the same premise.

This type of information consumption arouses our nervous system, giving us a false sense of resourcefulness and control. This can easily turn into a toxic additive loop that ends up sending us deeper into the depleting vortex of trauma.

 

In the next blog post, I will address rules 13 and 14.